I’m having one of those mornings where I really don’t know what to write about. After having a six-week lapse in blog posts in September & October, I’m hesitant to just let myself have a week off. Having a self-made deadline is both good and bad… I can give myself a pass–oh, you’ve had so much going on, take the week off!–or I can hold myself accountable, which is, admittedly, much more difficult.
I find I give myself a pass a lot… and with so much going on, it’s no wonder. But, I need to stop doing it. I made a commitment to write a blog post once a week, by Monday, a few years ago. Most of that time, I’ve done pretty well… Lately, not so much.
Sure, a lot of my brain power right now is being taken up with debating the merits of a non-malignant bone marrow transplant with my son. What’s left has been shifted into writing a project that really shouldn’t be getting written right now. Out of all that time, I have 30 minutes or 45 to write a blog post, but when I’m sapped, who wants that?
Despite what’s going on, though, I made a commitment. If I were to have a book deal, I’m sure my editor wouldn’t say something like, “Oh, Liberty, we know you’ve got a lot going on right now. Just get us your manuscript anytime you wish. We’ll still be here.”
Yeah, fat chance of that one happening.
I’d be out of a contract and have a bad name in the industry faster than you could whistle Dixie.
And, on the publishing front, if you follow my Facebook page, you know I did hear back from the agent who asked for my partial. “Too dark for a cozy” is about what it amounts to. So, in addition to writing this novel which really shouldn’t be getting on the page right now and weighing the benefits of a BMT on my son with the negatives, I’ve got to make sense of what to do next.
One of my critters thinks my novel’s not ready… which I can sort of see… but what to do with it? Still, I have this agent, a fairly well-respected agent as near as I can tell, who expressed that I have some good writing. What do I do with that?
I’m not sure I’m willing to let things calm down enough to give myself breathing room to contemplate it. I need to keep moving forward, even if it’s millimeter by millimeter, rather than by leaps and bounds. I’m not willing to come to a standstill (which I sort of feel I’m at now), or, worse, move backwards.
Which is why I do feel like I need to keep blogging–to keep my brain active, and not let myself fall behind.
Maybe it won’t make a lick of difference, but for now, I need that accountability.
And, it may not hurt to have a place to vent.
Until next time,