Self-observation

In the last few weeks, I’ve made some realizations about myself that I’m not proud to admit–in fact, I haven’t even told them to my husband yet.

I definitely lack self-motivation. A lot.

Now, if I’m in a time crunch, or my family’s stomach’s depend on it, I can get things done.

But, even my writing suffers because of my lack of self-motivation. Probably why I’ve been working on my novel for six years, another for more than four. Sure, it’s difficult to get things done when you’re a stay-at-home mom. But, I know many women who run rings around me. (I also know many women who are amazed that I get the amount of writing done I do… they just don’t see what other areas suffer because of it.)

I’ve noticed this mostly because I’ve been working on a time-sensitive project haphazardly (non-writing related) since May. In theory, if I had 2 – 4 uninterrupted hours to work on it a day, I’d have it done by now. Yeah, that hasn’t happened. In fact, the more I don’t work on it, the less I don’t want to work on it… and I feel like a failure because of it.

And, it’s not like I’m over-committed. It’s definitely not that. It’s the fact that I can’t motivate myself, and to a lesser extent, I can be very poor at time management. My husband instinctively knows what part of the problem is: this little thing called a laptop with an internet connection. Which is also why I’ve started staying off of the computer on Sundays, and a good part of Saturdays. Still, being off the computer just means I’ll distract myself with other things… reading a book, baking bread when I don’t really need to, etc. Not that these things are bad, just not necessarily important.

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who lacks this important skill. Maybe you’ve been struggling with it, and maybe you can offer some tips. To-do lists, for me, sometimes help, but not always. I’m more apt to ignore it than anything. For instance, I had a to-do list of 4 things for the weekend. I got two done. Oh brother.

Anyway…

Until next time,

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3 thoughts on “Self-observation

  1. Don't be too hard on yourself! I took me 16 years to finish the first novel I started (although i had other ones on the go at the same time) and then another five or so to pitch, revise and pitch again…

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  2. It's not so much my writing… it's everything else (including the pitching and submitting in writing) in life. I can't keep a clean house to save my life, and honestly, don't care most days. While I don't care, my husband does… *sigh*

    I've just really noticed this, and since my husband and I discuss buying or starting a business, it makes me REALLY nervous because I fear what kind of businesswoman I'd be!

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